And I wished to die…

rape case

I came to this world only five years ago, was still trying to absorb its beauty and goodness. Like a pampered angel I walked, holding hands of Daddy. Everything seemed halcyon and glee. Ignorant of dreadful elements in the society, I played nonchalantly. And then came two human-looking figures, seeing chocolate in their hands, I was overjoyed. Not that I knew, I was beguiled. They pulled me to a place that was dark and silent. One by one they laid over me, something which I did not like. I threw my legs and scratched their faces with my nails. But they smothered me with their big hands. Tears rolled down my eyes. I wanted my mummy and daddy, but there was nobody to hear me. Both wretched monsters still continued their execrable and sickening ‘thing’ with me. I did not know what they were doing. I loathed as they touched my body and private parts tossing me around like a plastic doll and biting me infinite times, the pain was excruciating. And then both of them stood up I thought it’s over and I can go home but no it was not. They were not done playing with me yet. A broken glass was inserted in me through my private parts like I had no life. I can not even describe the pain I went through, any word in the dictionary would fail to measure my agony. It made my heart to groan but I could not as they stuffed my mouth. I could not think of anything worse than this but then a plastic bottle entered inside me, for once I thought was I born to witness this? Is this usual thing that happens here? And those human-looking monsters disappeared leaving me in a pool of blood. I wanted to shout but my voice could not come out. I whimpered incessantly. As the night passed the place grew darker and darker. I cried all night not  because I was hungry or in pain, but for taking birth as a girl. Now I know what it is being a girl. With the dawn of another day my sobbing was at last heard. I screamed seeing my mummy. Now I detested any touch by male, even that of my daddy!. I was taken to the hospital and as the world knows, I made it. But what life I have now with that trauma deeply engraved in my heart and mind? I have only one question – why did I live as I wished nothing but, die.

“Now piercèd is her virgin zone;
She feels the foe within it.
She hears a broken amorous groan,
The panting lover’s fainting moan,
Just in the happy minute.”

 -John Wilmot

My Thoughts:  This post is dedicated to the recent 5 year old rape victim in New Delhi. I chose to write on that gruesome act happened with that girl through her melancholic heart and not any long social correction message. I have nothing more to say on it.

5 thoughts on “And I wished to die…”

  1. This acts of pedophilia are very disturbing, month on month these gruesome rape stories keep cropping up in the news. It makes me sad and my soul shivers when I read about these acts. I hope the girl get justices.

    1. No it’s not pedophilia is about Rape! A man does not have a right to rape a woman/girl whether she is a 45 years old, 23 years old, 5 years old or even 3 months old!!

  2. So sad is this story and so many such incidents are happening around the world still..can’t believe human can go to this level…makes me disturb just thinking about it really 😦

    1. It is indeed disturbing..but I would not call them humans and that’s why I mentioned everywhere ‘human-looking’.

      Thanks for visiting my blog 🙂

  3. Absolute deterioration of human values. Some are notorious in inflicting the kind of pain and torture in the manner they did to this five year old; some others are notorious in raping the hopes and dreams of others – brothers, sisters, colleagues, neighbours – all of them left to bleed in pain and suffer in solitude. Our values must be examined; we are all rapists, in one way or the other – as long as we engage in what results in tearing apart the hopes and dreams of fellow-beings. Stooped so low that soon we will cease to be proud of the rockets we send to space and be ashamed of the spears we thrust on the other, So well written, Mittal, reflecting how it has touched you.

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