Category Archives: India

Be a Fighter, Not a Sufferer!

071I totally gave up on writing a post today due to the lack of any inspiration around me but fortunately or unfortunately may be, I did find something. I was doing my usual writing and reading stuff in my room when I heard my mom talking to her close friend over a call about domestic violence which of course alerted my ears. So, I eavesdropped (hate to say that), but I couldn’t contain my curiosity so I asked my mother for the details and I got to know that my mother’s friend has been a victim of domestic violence and is now on anti-depressants. Last night, her husband had hit her again but this time it surpassed her tolerance level so she called the police. (But like any other respectable family the matter subdued without much tumult).  Imagine a upper middle class family which seems quite ordinary to any pair of eyes in social gatherings has a deep secret like this, what should I say they are good at camouflaging secrets?. 

Domestic Violence is not a country specific issue, it is encountered everyday by number of females living in different corners of the world. I was keen on writing on this topic all the more because I am currently reading a book called My Feudal Lord which is a real account of Tehmina Durrani who was battered and tortured for many years by her husband Ghulam Mustafa Khar who happened to be the former Chief Minister and Governor of Punjab in Pakistan.  Like many women she also kept mum to such atrocities for various reasons. She eventually got divorced though.

In my belief, there is no reason (small or big) under the sun that permits you to let anybody hit you constantly, that too somebody who is supposed to provide you security. At times women may be wrong and may not oblige with the code of conduct laid by the husband, but, raising a hand on a woman or any living being for that matter in any circumstance is an act of cowardice. And I feel more angry not on the one who starts the violence but who accepts it without any attempt of refusal.  For those who suffers silently are the greatest sinners than the ones who cause the sufferings, as quoted in the Holy Book of Bhagwad Gita.  

What are these women afraid of anyway? Nowadays even society is open to help them. I asked my mother to help her out, and she replied “Well I can’t until she herself is ready to rise against it.  I will be seen as somebody poking nose in somebody’s family matter.”

I certainly believe gone are the days when women were totally dependable on their husbands and crap. If you aren’t earning there is a word called ‘Alimony’ and ‘Maintenance money’ after divorce which is enough to give chills to any married men. Plus all that social stigma they go through as the battered female will receive all the sympathy of the world. Any female who has come out of this hell and made a living on her own earns my respect but not the ones who are being silent sufferers as you will always be blamed for being one. And if you really want to be a sufferer at least be a smart one, keep a pepper spray! Remember men’s private part hurts them the most. I would surely wouldn’t prefer living in such tragedy and keep an account of my beatings so that I can write a biography later on.

Break the shell and see how wonderful it is to live like a human being.

Only for Women!!!

So here is the moment for which every Indian citizen waits for -The Financial Budget. The budget for FY2013-14 is out and brings with it set of joys to some and woes to others. Since the time I have started understanding the functioning of a country, I have never seen any one set of people satisfied totally with the country’s budget. There will always be a section of society cribbing and grumping about it.  So what am I bemoaning about..Rs.10 billion or about US$185 million of funds for women’s upliftment. For those who think Indian Government is not concerned about their women hear it out a whooping Rs.10 billion for us.  But what I am concerned about is the utilization of it. Yesterday, the Financial Minister announced that the Government is coming up with a first all-women Bank by 2013 end i.e. a bank run solely by women from top to bottom, additionally the bank will serve only to women as in not only women account holders but also women run NGOs, women run companies etc. My concern is this gender segregation no matter how well intended it is. Isn’t there enough gender segregation in this country already- special trains only for women, women compartments in trains and metro, only women policies etc. and now a women Bank!!! that was the last straw. I understand these actions are only for women safety and empowerment but what about the collective progression towards women empowerment taking along men of the same society. Just to provide everything specially for women is not a solution to everything, that will only make them aliens in their own country.  In my view the idea of all women bank is a total rubbish and should be discarded right away instead why not introduce the policies to promote women empowerment in present ‘Unisex’ banks.

If the idea of a women bank means increased employment for women then there is an equal dearth of employment for both the genders and I have seen more women working in Unisex Banks than men. And if the idea means escape from sexual harassment then how will you save a woman from another woman!!! I mean they are not always best of friends. I have never face any sexual harassment at my workplace but yeah harassment by women I do have seen. So, i would rather choose not to work at a place full of women. So, my point is I don’t see any strong change that this all-women bank will produce. I am an Indian women of modern India and I would appreciate my government taking steps for my betterment but I don’t want to go ahead in my life like an outcast from the rest of my people. So stop being sexist in disguise when I am ready to become a non-feminist. What I want is both men and women progressing together for each other’s betterment.