Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
I totally gave up on writing a post today due to the lack of any inspiration around me but fortunately or unfortunately may be, I did find something. I was doing my usual writing and reading stuff in my room when I heard my mom talking to her close friend over a call about domestic violence which of course alerted my ears. So, I eavesdropped (hate to say that), but I couldn’t contain my curiosity so I asked my mother for the details and I got to know that my mother’s friend has been a victim of domestic violence and is now on anti-depressants. Last night, her husband had hit her again but this time it surpassed her tolerance level so she called the police. (But like any other respectable family the matter subdued without much tumult). Imagine a upper middle class family which seems quite ordinary to any pair of eyes in social gatherings has a deep secret like this, what should I say they are good at camouflaging secrets?.
Domestic Violence is not a country specific issue, it is encountered everyday by number of females living in different corners of the world. I was keen on writing on this topic all the more because I am currently reading a book called My Feudal Lord which is a real account of Tehmina Durrani who was battered and tortured for many years by her husband Ghulam Mustafa Khar who happened to be the former Chief Minister and Governor of Punjab in Pakistan. Like many women she also kept mum to such atrocities for various reasons. She eventually got divorced though.
In my belief, there is no reason (small or big) under the sun that permits you to let anybody hit you constantly, that too somebody who is supposed to provide you security. At times women may be wrong and may not oblige with the code of conduct laid by the husband, but, raising a hand on a woman or any living being for that matter in any circumstance is an act of cowardice. And I feel more angry not on the one who starts the violence but who accepts it without any attempt of refusal. For those who suffers silently are the greatest sinners than the ones who cause the sufferings, as quoted in the Holy Book of Bhagwad Gita.
What are these women afraid of anyway? Nowadays even society is open to help them. I asked my mother to help her out, and she replied “Well I can’t until she herself is ready to rise against it. I will be seen as somebody poking nose in somebody’s family matter.”
I certainly believe gone are the days when women were totally dependable on their husbands and crap. If you aren’t earning there is a word called ‘Alimony’ and ‘Maintenance money’ after divorce which is enough to give chills to any married men. Plus all that social stigma they go through as the battered female will receive all the sympathy of the world. Any female who has come out of this hell and made a living on her own earns my respect but not the ones who are being silent sufferers as you will always be blamed for being one. And if you really want to be a sufferer at least be a smart one, keep a pepper spray! Remember men’s private part hurts them the most. I would surely wouldn’t prefer living in such tragedy and keep an account of my beatings so that I can write a biography later on.
Break the shell and see how wonderful it is to live like a human being.
Human Brain is the most complex yet simple (if understood) thing, the Almighty has created. Neither am I a psychology student nor holds any inquisitiveness to study human brain. However, it is interesting to see the variations in human behavior on good and bad days. And very bad days.
I can be categorized as someone who shows extreme moods. Nothing I boast of. On any good day, I am seen laughing and making others laugh with my one-liners. While on a bad day, the same me can’t resist snapping at people on trivial things, even at my best people. That’s me.
This post is not about self-correction or to list down measures for mood-balancing. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong in showing extreme moods (in civil limits). I am just doing what I am programmed to do, being human. Even animals have moods, I am no different. What we need is not shunning the expression of our moods but acceptance of it by others. Sincerely, I respect moods. I believe every being has a right to be themselves. Why to wary of people judging us. But, for people to respect your mood, it is first important to be true to yourself. A honest mood swing is not only acceptable but understandable. Bad mood mixed with the traces of ego or personal malice is straight away ousted. The latter can not cover up for a rough mood. Somehow, egoism demeans the whole concept of mood swings.
Not that I am justifying my extremity of moods. I do sometimes rue about my frostiness and try to undone the done. But, people who know me, would agree with me. Anything that is not manipulative is forgettable and neglect able. It is human ritual. On-set of genuine expression and humble acceptance of checkered moods, I believe would simplify or define the intricacies of the human brain.