And when you start thinking you are lonely, you are not lonely at all.
Hello peeps, I have been away for quite a long. Well various reasons…got married, traveling and in the process writing got sidelined. Hoping this post becomes a new beginning and never stops.
I know marriage is a change process as it brings a lot of changes in a person’s life. I am somebody who gets unsettle even if order of the things on my bedside table changes, you can imagine my apprehensions during the course of this life event.
However I feel much better now, finally getting used to of “Marriage” and I have deduced that it’s not such a bad thing. Demanding for sure but not evil.
I have a list of both good and bad changes that has happened to me. Let’s start with the bad ones.
- No time No time No time. I get no time for myself for sure. But I figure as days will progress time will also find its own place.
- Cooking. As in have to cook good food. No shortcuts. This is still something I am ready to learn since it is important for survival.
- Lack of creativity. I have become such a duh. I used to think like an artist – reading and writing, now I can only think if an orange vase will look good on my green table!! This is something that bothers me again but I guess time will heal this too.
- Act too good to be true. I am a good person but still a bitch. And now I have to act extra good to people even when I am in my worst mood. Can’t show my schizophrenic side that soon.
And the list will just go on with very annoying elements…
The good things of the package are though quite cherish able and therefore blur the above bad things.
- Patience. It takes time but it comes. Well, it is important to run not only marriage but life…peacefully.
- Forgiveness. I am still one of those grumpy cats but I am learning to forgive and forget. I was not born Jesus.
- Less cribbing. You suddenly have to learn to appreciate things even if they don’t fall in your book of approvals. But that’s the way of life. Perhaps my book is not the only right book in this world.
- Love. Unconditional love. It is easy to be cordial and maintain healthy relationships but maintaining unconditional love is difficult but it’s the most beautiful thing to experience. It gives me a high.
Marriage is a balance between good and not so good things. And I feel it takes quite a lot to maintain this balance. Phew!! I am still learning and hope not to regret from it.
If you are single have you ever envied any married couple? I have always wondered how newly married couple publicize their whole love affair on social networking websites. This can be counted as a new way of Public Display of Affection (PDA). I am not a fan of the mushy long write-ups by newly weds about their ongoing marital life. Their periodic gushing and regular updates on how amazing their last night date was, is repelling. I mean I am sure they are in love which is why they married in the first place but telling it aloud to public again and again puts a doubt on that very love. Is it not juvenile to thank your partners on completion of a week, month or an year; I thought it’s a duty of a spouse to keep the other one happy, thanking them just demeans the whole idea of marriage. I would be more interested if somebody displayed their marriage as not an amazing one as they thought it would be.
There could be a lot of hypothesis that explain this unwanted social networking displays.
One is that such couples are so much in love that they can’t contain it and it becomes necessary to involve others as happy comments by latter such as “Lucky You”, “Happy for You” make the couples feel that they have done something extraordinary.
Second is for publicity I think, before marriage they were used to of a lot of attention which of course starts reducing after they are hitched, so fear of that losing territory encourages them to post just “anything”.
Third could be they want all the people to know that Marriage is not such a bad thing as it is deemed as and they prove it by professing the endless love between them. This is also one way to make all those singles feel bad who think they are cool.
Fourth is my favorite and probably the most common reason and it is that they are just jobless. They have been exchanging deep feelings about each other in private but when they get bored they want to involve more people in this game.
More annoying part is when other who are ok to such immature confessions throw stupid comments. But they are fun to read. I know it’s a free country and love is something which needs to be shared and all stuff..blah blah but I would still tell such people to Get-a-Room please.
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
One of the reasons to like this sonnet is that here love is so divinely compared with marriage yet defines it different from the actual ceremony. What I understand here is that love between two people (whether same gender or different) is not bound by marriage. Love which changes with time or circumstances is not actual love. Love is constant and it doesn’t change even if one of the partner is physically away. It doesn’t shake even during difficult times (“That looks on tempests”). Love is like a star that guides a lost soul. Unlike the height of the star which can be measured, the star’s worth cannot be. Love is not age specific which is limited only when the partners are young and beautiful but it stays even when the body grows old and sick. It doesn’t change with hours and weeks but remains same even to the edge of doom. And then Shakespeare says that if what he has written here can be proved wrong, then his writings mean nothing and no man has ever loved.
It’s been quite a while since I last wrote, my first cousin’s wedding kept me busy past weeks. This wedding has brought me to the terms that family is imperative in social well-being of an individual. Being bohemian and free spirited has always inspired and defined me but this time I felt something different, I felt good in being bounded. Anyways, it’s about the wedding. The big ‘W’ has always jittered me for obvious reasons. Brave cousin of mine!!. But this is amazing, a woman leaves her home, her family, her things, even city and job (in my cousin’s case) for one man. And this is not done out of force or moral duty but love for one man. I dedicate this lovely and touching poem by Rumi (a sufi saint/poet) to my newly wedded cousin and brother-in-law and wish them a wonderful life ahead.
A moment of happiness,
you and I
sitting on the verandah,
but one in soul,
you and I.
We feel the flowing water of life here,
you and I,
with the garden’s beauty
and the birds singing.
The stars will be watching us,
and we will show them
what it is to be a thin crescent moon.
You and I unselfed,
will be together,
indifferent to idle speculation,
you and I.
The parrots of heaven will be cracking sugar
as we laugh together,
you and I.
In one form upon this earth,
and in another form
in a timeless sweet land.