Tag Archives: Survive

Be a Fighter, Not a Sufferer!

071I totally gave up on writing a post today due to the lack of any inspiration around me but fortunately or unfortunately may be, I did find something. I was doing my usual writing and reading stuff in my room when I heard my mom talking to her close friend over a call about domestic violence which of course alerted my ears. So, I eavesdropped (hate to say that), but I couldn’t contain my curiosity so I asked my mother for the details and I got to know that my mother’s friend has been a victim of domestic violence and is now on anti-depressants. Last night, her husband had hit her again but this time it surpassed her tolerance level so she called the police. (But like any other respectable family the matter subdued without much tumult).  Imagine a upper middle class family which seems quite ordinary to any pair of eyes in social gatherings has a deep secret like this, what should I say they are good at camouflaging secrets?. 

Domestic Violence is not a country specific issue, it is encountered everyday by number of females living in different corners of the world. I was keen on writing on this topic all the more because I am currently reading a book called My Feudal Lord which is a real account of Tehmina Durrani who was battered and tortured for many years by her husband Ghulam Mustafa Khar who happened to be the former Chief Minister and Governor of Punjab in Pakistan.  Like many women she also kept mum to such atrocities for various reasons. She eventually got divorced though.

In my belief, there is no reason (small or big) under the sun that permits you to let anybody hit you constantly, that too somebody who is supposed to provide you security. At times women may be wrong and may not oblige with the code of conduct laid by the husband, but, raising a hand on a woman or any living being for that matter in any circumstance is an act of cowardice. And I feel more angry not on the one who starts the violence but who accepts it without any attempt of refusal.  For those who suffers silently are the greatest sinners than the ones who cause the sufferings, as quoted in the Holy Book of Bhagwad Gita.  

What are these women afraid of anyway? Nowadays even society is open to help them. I asked my mother to help her out, and she replied “Well I can’t until she herself is ready to rise against it.  I will be seen as somebody poking nose in somebody’s family matter.”

I certainly believe gone are the days when women were totally dependable on their husbands and crap. If you aren’t earning there is a word called ‘Alimony’ and ‘Maintenance money’ after divorce which is enough to give chills to any married men. Plus all that social stigma they go through as the battered female will receive all the sympathy of the world. Any female who has come out of this hell and made a living on her own earns my respect but not the ones who are being silent sufferers as you will always be blamed for being one. And if you really want to be a sufferer at least be a smart one, keep a pepper spray! Remember men’s private part hurts them the most. I would surely wouldn’t prefer living in such tragedy and keep an account of my beatings so that I can write a biography later on.

Break the shell and see how wonderful it is to live like a human being.

Say It…for youself

 Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.” – Albert Einstein

To be opinionated or not to be that is the question. I have always observed that having opinions on everything and having none at all both are not taken in a very good light. It gets annoying sometimes with opinionated people but that’s genuine as there can’t be two lions living peacefully in a territory, they ought to fight to survive. They may not agree with each other’s opinions but are conscious enough of each other’s presence. On the other hand, I feel sorry for those who lack any thought or idea of their own. They are like shadows following voiced souls. There may be a variety that holds opinion but are meek to express them as they think their expression might be rejected or remain unheard. But what is wrong with the rejection, even president’s policies are sometimes rejected by people? You got to try over and over again and soon you will get used to of rejection. Sometimes I think, these non-opinionated people are dangerous for a democracy, as they wouldn’t even know whom to vote in elections. But it is equally true that these non-opinionated people are angels, as you know they will never disagree with you so you will always get their nods. Hmmm, does not sound fun. May be they opt to be mutes most of the times so that they can be in good books of others. Well, there are enough good people on this planet, I still like to be counted as a headstrong.

It is not my business but I still would like to give an advice to such people. Stop being good if you are trying to. Look around and think. You will soon get some thought on India’s deteriorating politics, global recession or civil wars in Gulf. Say it, even if it doesn’t make sense or is insensitive statement. But you have to say it, otherwise you will be soon termed as DUMB both literally and figuratively.